By Chris van Heerden
There is a proverb in the Bible that talks about making plans but recognizing that God has the final vote. That is how I feel. I celebrated this past New Year's Eve while vacationing with my amazing girlfriend, Ksenia Karelina. She is who I’ve been waiting for all my life. She is beautiful, funny, and adventurous. She sneaks food to our bulldog, Boots. She lights up every room with her energy and her optimism.
All I could think about was keeping the secret that I planned to propose to her after she returned from a short visit to see her ailing 90-year-old grandmother in Russia. My head was filled with thoughts of a future with her, the places we would go, the life we would build together, the children we would have. I am one of 13 children, and I often joked with her, to her relief, that I am not as ambitious in fatherhood as my parents. My Christmas gift to Ksenia was to pay for the trip to Russia – maybe I thought that would make it go faster, and she would be back home with me in Los Angeles sooner.
But something intervened. I’m not sure it was God, but it was something. Ksenia is a Russian citizen but was granted her US citizenship in 2021. Upon entering Russia in January, she was pulled aside and questioned. Her phone was taken. When the Russians found on her Venmo app that she had made a $50 donation to a US nonprofit organization, she was told she was facing charges and could not leave the country while the investigation was in process. Ksenia was confused. Facing charges? For what? At first, she was charged with hooliganism. Now, they have upgraded the charge to treason and taken her into custody. Because she is a dual US/Russian citizen, the Russians are treating her as a Russian, and the US Embassy has not been granted access to visit her.
The nonprofit she contributed to provides funds and programming to help elderly people without heat in Ukraine and families displaced by the war. It provides medical services for children. Nowhere on its website does it say anything about supporting Ukrainian military personnel or goals. My Ksenia – the Ksenia I know – does not watch the news. She does not have causes. She does yoga and goes for hikes. Occasionally, she roller skates or dances. She was trained as a ballerina and has worked for years in a spa, having recently obtained her aesthetician license. She likes ice cream. She is not an activist.
Ksenia loves her Russian heritage and is proud of her family and her countrymen, but I have no idea how she feels about the war in Ukraine because we never talked about it. I’m not sure she ever gave much thought to international affairs or politics at all, really. I didn’t. In hindsight, I wished we’d both paid a little more attention to the news. The only time I can really remember her expressing a political opinion was when she held a “We want peace” sign, but never anything, good or bad, about Russia. Who can argue with a yogini wanting peace?
Russia and the US have had a contentious relationship for decades, but it has certainly gotten worse in the past few years. We have seen Russia take custody of Americans and trade them for Russians in American custody. I won’t say that either side is more right or more wrong because I don’t have insights into each of these cases. But I do know that Ksenia is an innocent among innocents. She is someone who adds grace to the world we all live in. She only wants to come home to Boots and me (in that order).
I have heard from experts on Russia, the US, wrongful detentions, etc. They all caution that detainee trades may not happen until after the US presidential election. They see Ksenia as another of a long line of cases that need to be resolved. I see her as a person who I love and miss. I am appealing to the Russian government to be the responsible actor here. It was a mistake to arrest her. Please let her go. Show the world you are better than being afraid of my ballerina. The Ksenia I know is not a threat to the Russian Federation.
Chris van Heerden is the boyfriend of Ksenia Karelina
To learn more visit: https://www.freeksenia.com/
