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Top Ten '80's Teen Movies Recast To Star MAGA Miscreants

Jeff Timmer reimagines feel-good '80's teen movies as horror flicks starring MAGA creatures
Published:November 28, 2022

10. Karate Kid: but with Charlie Kirk learning “wax on” from Steve Bannon

  9. Weird Science: where Don Jr. and Eric fuck around with their computers and conjure Kim Guilfoyle from her crypt

  8. (Deformed) Footloose: with Marjorie Taylor Greene and Mike Pence as the daughter/pastor 

  7. Sixteen Candles: with Matt Gaetz

  6. Mean Girls: with Kari Lake and Tudor Dixon

  5. Teen Wolf: with Ben Shapiro

  4. Red Dawn: with Jim Jordan leading the rag-tag Freedom Caucus to fight for the Soviets against the U.S.

  3. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off: with Madison Cawthorn, and instead of epic adventures, he just punches a tree and humps his cousin’s face

  2. Real Genius: staring Donald J. Trump as Prof. Hathaway and Kevin McCarthy as his sycophant, Kent

  1. Dirty Dancing: featuring Lauren Boebert and her husband. But instead of teaching Baby to dance, he ignores her and just exposes his penis to people at the resort